The manipulative ex-wife: How to deal with her without losing your mind.
Having a manipulative ex-wife is potentially very damaging to your marriage. She can and do wreak havoc in your life. The important thing is not to let her think she has the upper hand and has upset you, which is easier said than done. After all, she holds the ace cards Ė the children, if there are any. This is where you have to be creative and draw upon some acting skills you may have hidden.
There are some women out there that can play hard ball when it comes to situations like these. Unfortunately, I had a difficult ex-wife to deal with. She tried a lot of things to try and split me and my (then) boyfriend, though she was unsuccessful thankfully, and we have been married for 20 years now.
Dealing with a manipulative ex-wife is like being on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, as if hormones are not enough to cope with. The key thing is not to take any of this personally. Itís not you specifically, she will do this to anyone who has taken her place. She feels very vulnerable and thinks that you are out to steal her childrenís father. I wish I had been able to see that side of things when I needed to.
She is likely to try a number of different manipulative tricks. The ex-wife I had to deal with would turn up at my partnerís workplace constantly without prior warning and for no good reason. She rang constantly about ridiculous things that she could have dealt with concerning the children. She was basically asserting her authority over her ex-husband and showing me that when she clicked her fingers, he would come running. The problem was --- he did.
What can you do?
She can cause you to be in a very tricky situation. You basically have two choices, you can walk away, or you can stay on and fight for your relationship. But, be assured that unless the ex-wife has mental issues, it will all die down, eventually. In time, she will come to see you as no threat, but rather a potential babysitter, so be prepared.
Having good support from your partner through these times is crucial, otherwise the relationship is doomed for failure. You cannot have him saying one thing to you and another to her. No doubt your name will be mud in any conversation she has with him. Try not to worry about this, she is the one who is on the outer fringe, not you. After all, you hold an ace card too, her ex-husband, not that it should be a slinging match.
The best way to deal with a manipulative ex-wife who constantly pokes her nose into your lives and tells lies to get what she wants, is to try and ignore her. Do not get involved in any arguments, let your partner deal with her and everything to do with the children.
It can be an awful situation having two women in one relationship. If you value the union you have with your partner, do not give in. Stand strong, keep a low profile and stand by your marriage.
by Tina Ramsey