The death of a man’s wife is a life-changing event like no other. The marriage may have had its faults, but it was still intact. Married love had survived. But in an instant, it was all gone. Suddenly he was alone and he would have to redefine what his life would be in the years he had remaining.
Those close to him rallied around during those first critical hours, days, and months. Their hearts ached with sympathy as he grieved for lost love and life. Then bit by bit he began to rebuild his life. Many believed that he would live out the rest of his days in quiet respect of his deceased wife, finding comfort in the love of his children and his extended family and friends. They never dreamed he would ever take a second wife.
True, he had dated from time to time. He had taken some women friends to dinner, even to an occasional movie or night at the theatre. It was all strictly platonic, just harmless activities to relieve a little of his loneliness, though one woman seemed to relieve his loneliness more than the others. Eventually, he invited her to meet his kids, his siblings, his parents.
Soon the inevitable happened. He had found someone to share his life with again. For the first time in a long time he was happy. His second wife was happy. However, others struggled with their emotions about his remarriage. They wanted to be happy for him, sort of. But then they remembered his dear, sweet, (almost perfect) deceased ife. How could he betray her memory by remarrying? She had loved him so much!
He even went so far as to move this second wife into the same house he and his first wife had built together. The second wife agreed to the arrangement of course, but she would soon discover that the presence of his deceased spouse would never really be gone. As far as those watching were concerned, it served this second wife right. Why should she get to enjoy the rewards the first wife worked so hard for?
His adult kids took it the worst. Sure, they wanted their dad to be happy. But couldn’t he just be happy single? They missed their mom more than ever when they saw him with their new stepmother. No, they couldn’t call this new woman their stepmother – he was just their dad’s second wife. They would never accept her. Never. They resented their dad for even thinking that they would.
And so a new blended family saga begins. Unspeakable tragedy transforms into joy; deep depression into a childlike optimism; loneliness into love. Yet the reality of remarriage may raise its ugly head even when no previous marriage vow was broken. Even when the second wife came on the scene years after the tragedy. And even when a grieving widower is blessed enough to become a husband in love again.
A candid, albeit at times tongue-in-cheek, expose of the challenges facing today's blended family. Written from the next wife's point of view, it delves into the murky waters of step-mothering, climbs the treacherous terrain of reluctant in-laws, and warns the next-wife against tripping in the footsteps of the woman who came first.
For some reason we see divorce as a signal of failure despite the fact that each of us has a right and an obligation to rectify any other mistake we make in life. ~Joyce Brothers
2nd Wives Club.com - Sisterhood, support, advice, and solutions for Stepmoms - Wives Of Widowers - Widower Remarriage Causes Mixed Emotions
The death of a man’s wife is a life-changing event like no other. The marriage may have had its faults, but it was still intact. Married love had survived. But in an instant, it was all gone. Suddenly he was alone and he would have to redefine what his life would be in the years he had remaining.
